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This post appeared on February 16, 2010, on Corey Allen's http://simplemarriage.com.
Values.
What do they mean to you?
When was the last time you considered the values that make up your character?
Are you trustworthy, loyal, fair, honorable or patient?
Are your friends and family proud of who you are? Why or why not?
What can you do to improve?
What are values?
Values are the ideals or principles of a given society and the personal qualities considered worthwhile or desirable. They are different for each of us and can vary from person to person and even for each person from one time to another.
We learn our values from our families, friends, religion and community. In turn, the people we associate with learn values from us as well. Are your loved ones learning the values that you want them to adopt? The world is moving so quickly that we need to ensure that our families and children understand what values are important to us.
Consider these quotes:
Education without values, as useful as it is, seems rather to make man a more clever devil. ~ C. S. Lewis
As a man, I’ve been representative of the values I hold dear. And the values I hold dear are carryovers from the lives of my parents. ~ Sidney Poitier
What values are important to you?
Think of the traits you admire most in someone close to you, such as a parent or a best friend.
Do you share those same values? Most often, we tend to share similar values with the people with whom we associate. Obviously, that can be good or bad. With young people, it is especially important that they choose their companions wisely.
When I conduct writing workshops for high school students, one of the most frequently requested topics is Personal Values. It is always an illuminating exercise to have the students check off the values that are important to them. One person may select almost all of the values in the list, while others cannot seem to relate to more than one or two. What does that tell us about their character?
How are you passing your values on to your family?
Your actions speak louder than words. If you want your kids to be honest, what are you teaching them by your actions? Do you tell little white lies from time to time, fudge the numbers a bit on your taxes or fail to point out when a cashier gives you too much change?
If your faith is important to you, do you practice it with your family? Do you attend services regularly, or only when it is convenient or a major event, such as Easter or Christmas? If you ran into your minister, priest, imam or rabbi on the street, would he/she recognize you? Better yet, would you recognize them in their “street clothes?”
Children look up to their parents and tend to emulate their actions, whether we realize it or not. As an example, consider your reaction when a 4-year-old drops something and lets out a short curse. Will it be a mild expletive or something stronger that they’ve heard you say? With luck, it takes only a time or two for the parent to realize how much “little ears” pick up from us.
When my grandson expressed his frustration about something by using Daddy’s favorite swear word, Daddy and Mommy both started using a new preference of “Oh, snap!” At first, it struck me as pretty funny, but I was proud to see that exercising their values helped them to teach their children what was acceptable behavior.
It isn’t easy to be a role model for our children, but it is crucial if we want to pass on our values to them. So the next time you are tempted to cut an ethical corner or use words that you don’t want them to repeat, keep in mind that your kids are watching and listening.
Exercises on Values
Try these simple exercises on values. Look at this list of sample values and select the ones that are most important to you, or at least a few to start with. There is no right answer. In fact, your personal values may not even be on this list.
SAMPLE VALUES
activism
authenticity
boldness
can do attitude
charity
chivalry
cleanliness
communication
confidence
courage
creativity
curiosity
dignity
diversity
empathy
endurance
enthusiasm
excitement
fairness
faith
friendship
genuineness
God
gratitude
hard work
helpfulness
honor
hope
humility
independence
innovation
integrity
interest in others
inventiveness
joie de vivre
joyfulness
kindness
lifelong learning
listening
love
loyalty
motivation
nonviolence
open mindedness
organization
participation
patience
persistence
positive attitude
pride (not ego)
promptness
quality
resilience
resourcefulness
respect
responsibility
self-esteem
sense of honor
sense of humor
social skills
supportiveness
tradition
work ethics
Your Personal Values
1. Which values are most important to you? Why?
2. From whom did you learn these values? How?
3. Which values do you admire in people around you? Why?
4. In what ways do you act on your values?
5. How do your values help you make difficult decisions?
Once you have identified some of your own values and contemplated their importance to you, take the opportunity to open up a dialog with your family members. Discuss the importance of values with them and share your own experiences.
If you could instill three values into the people around you, what would they be?
I’d love to get your feedback on which values YOU consider important.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
The Perfect Valentine
As you know, Valentine’s Day is all about love. But do you know one of the best (and easiest) ways to express your love for someone? Just tell them how you feel about them. Okay, maybe you can’t always verbally express what you are feeling, but with a little effort, anyone can write a simple love note.
So how do you get started? Close your eyes and picture your loved one. What do you appreciate most about them? It may be their crooked little smile, their willingness to pitch in to help, their sense of humor, their support for you, the care they give your aging parents or the home-cooked meals they offer.
Whatever it is, they’d probably like to hear you show your appreciation once in a while.
Years ago when I was a kid growing up on the farm, my great-aunt used to bring us clothes and shoes from the upscale dress shop where she worked. I was the only of all my sisters who could fit into the fancy high-heeled shoes that I loved. I could tell how pleased she was to see my enjoyment of them.
As an adult, I wondered what she saw in me as a clumsy tom-boy to think that I could ever clean up so well. I finally mailed her a long letter telling her how much I appreciated her vision and kindness. My plan was to follow up and visit her, then take her out to lunch, but I ran out of time.
Just a few months after I finally wrote to her, she passed away suddenly and I lost the chance to talk in person.
So my point is to let people you care about know what they mean to you now, while you still can. Just a little note or a few words scribbled onto a card may make someone’s day. Why not use Valentine's Day as a reason to express your love?
Who do YOU appreciate? How can you tell or show them? I’d love to hear what works for you.
So how do you get started? Close your eyes and picture your loved one. What do you appreciate most about them? It may be their crooked little smile, their willingness to pitch in to help, their sense of humor, their support for you, the care they give your aging parents or the home-cooked meals they offer.
Whatever it is, they’d probably like to hear you show your appreciation once in a while.
Years ago when I was a kid growing up on the farm, my great-aunt used to bring us clothes and shoes from the upscale dress shop where she worked. I was the only of all my sisters who could fit into the fancy high-heeled shoes that I loved. I could tell how pleased she was to see my enjoyment of them.
As an adult, I wondered what she saw in me as a clumsy tom-boy to think that I could ever clean up so well. I finally mailed her a long letter telling her how much I appreciated her vision and kindness. My plan was to follow up and visit her, then take her out to lunch, but I ran out of time.
Just a few months after I finally wrote to her, she passed away suddenly and I lost the chance to talk in person.
So my point is to let people you care about know what they mean to you now, while you still can. Just a little note or a few words scribbled onto a card may make someone’s day. Why not use Valentine's Day as a reason to express your love?
Who do YOU appreciate? How can you tell or show them? I’d love to hear what works for you.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Stories from a 5-year-old
It looks like our family may have a young personal-historian-in-training! My grandson is only 5, but he captured his own thoughts and actually wrote them down. In fairness to his Dad, I do have to say his story may be just a wee bit exaggerated, for effect, I'm sure.
In case you can't read the original, I will take the liberty to interpret it for you here:
[sic] sum tems my dad dzit let me hav iscrm. My dad dz not evr let me hav pop mountain dew. I see my dad laying down.
So the question for you is this: If a 5-year-old can write a story, what's your excuse?
For help getting started today with your own stories, sign up for my free monthly newsletter at www.bethlamie.com.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Start Your Stories
Are you having a problem getting started with your own family stories? You may have very good intentions, but not know exactly how to proceed. Every month, I offer FREE teleclasses on just that topic.
In case you aren't aware, a teleclass is a class that is taught over a telephone. People call into a specific phone number at a set time and enter an Access Code followed by a "#". In my case, the Call-in number is 308-344-6400, Access Code 300645#. Normal long-distance charges will apply, but there is no cost for the actual class.
If you would like to attend, but the day or time is not convenient, please let me know. I am open to adding more teleclasses to fit a variety of schedules. My goal is to encourage people to capture their family stories before it is too late.
Everyone has a story to tell. What is yours?
In case you aren't aware, a teleclass is a class that is taught over a telephone. People call into a specific phone number at a set time and enter an Access Code followed by a "#". In my case, the Call-in number is 308-344-6400, Access Code 300645#. Normal long-distance charges will apply, but there is no cost for the actual class.
If you would like to attend, but the day or time is not convenient, please let me know. I am open to adding more teleclasses to fit a variety of schedules. My goal is to encourage people to capture their family stories before it is too late.
Everyone has a story to tell. What is yours?
Monday, January 18, 2010
Interview on Children Author Show
You can listen to a fun interview about my book. Now Playing at www.TheChildrenAuthorsShow.com : Interview with Beth LaMie about Grannys Guide To Fun and Fabulous Family Stories.
One of the surreal aspects was that usually I do the interviewing, so this was a rather unusual experience for me. Don McCauley of the Author Show was very pleasant during the interview and easy to converse with.
My hope is that more people will hear about my book, website, newsletter and blog. It is very exciting when someone contacts me about my work.
SO the question is, "What is your most vivid memory about growing up?" Feel free to comment below and have fun saving your family stories.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
4 Step Recipe for Family Stories
This post is one I did as a guest columnist today for www.simplemarriage.com. I hope you enjoy it!
Many of my most vivid memories relate to food. I loved all the family gatherings when I was a kid. With six brothers and sisters, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins all living in a relatively small area, we seemed to get together every week. If the occasion was not for a complete meal, then there had to be “lunch” served with coffee and a variety of scrumptious sweets. I dearly loved sitting quietly nearby so I could hear everyone talk and tell their stories.
To this day, I can’t see or smell cinnamon rolls without thinking of Mom and all her delicious baked goods. Grandma always kept a clear glass container like a huge brandy snifter in the center of her table, filled to the brim with several kinds of homemade cookies. Whenever she felt we didn’t eat the cookies quickly enough, she topped all of them with chocolate icing, one of my personal favorites.
Connected with those fabulous food memories are the memorable family stories that were told and retold. I never tired of hearing favorite stories from bygone days.
Food is one great way for YOU to open up a treasure chest of memories.
1. Get the stories behind the food
What do you think of when asked about your favorite food? Is it something that your grandmother made, like apple crisp? Or is it your Uncle Pete’s awesome barbecued ribs? Or how about your neighbor’s chocolate fudge? Or is it something you make yourself, like a peanut butter, jelly and banana sandwich? One of my own family favorites is fresh lemon meringue pie, which Mom made better than anyone else.
Whatever it is, everyone has favorite foods. Many of these foods make us think of when we were younger. But did you ever wonder about the stories behind the food? Who came up with the original recipe for apple crisp? And who on earth decided to add raisins or nuts to it? You can get some wonderful stories when you pose questions like these to cooks you know.
2. Use the power of food to recall memories
Food can be a powerful trigger to help you recall memories. If someone mentions pumpkin pie, do you think of Thanksgiving dinner? Do gingerbread cookies remind you of Christmas? Do hard-boiled eggs lead to thoughts of Easter? Whenever I see pecan pie, I always think about shelling pecans by the bushel (it sure seemed like a bushel, anyway) so we’d have pecans all winter.
You can use food to remind your family circle of stories you want to hear. One idea is to throw a cookie baking party. Everyone has fun, you get to make cookies (or pizza, or pretzels, or whatever you like best) and you dig up stories from the past. Best of all, you get to enjoy your favorite foods and favorite people at the same time.
Whenever people get together, they like to talk and tell stories. You can make up a list of questions to ask for more background about your own memories. Just remember to either write down what people say or use a recorder to capture it. That’s a whole lot easier than trying to remember all the details later.
3. Use family gatherings for more story-telling
Any gathering of your friends and family is a great chance to capture more stories. Many times, this is a fun opportunity for group discussions. Getting people to talk about their favorite foods will always lead to good memories. Ask about the first time Aunt Alice made a favorite recipe like macaroni and cheese and burned it. Where did she learn how to fix it? Some families may have their own idea of what a dish should be like. For example, one family may like macaroni and cheese from the blue box, but another family might be disappointed if they didn’t get it homemade from scratch with three kinds of cheese. They’re all keys to opening up those memories.
4. Combine family stories and recipes
One way to capture family stories and recipes is to make a little cookbook of your favorite foods. Then you can add stories to go along with the recipes. It’s even more fun to show the original recipe and who made it. Then show any changes that other people made to it.
To get stories from your family circle, you can ask each of them to write down their favorite recipe onto a card. Make sure they include the directions as well. On the other side of the recipe card, ask them to write a few notes about where the original recipe came from. They might also like to give you a photo of the food or the original cook.
Every year we lose someone special from our circle of friends and family. Please keep this in mind: Get started now to save their precious memories before they are lost forever.
Many of my most vivid memories relate to food. I loved all the family gatherings when I was a kid. With six brothers and sisters, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins all living in a relatively small area, we seemed to get together every week. If the occasion was not for a complete meal, then there had to be “lunch” served with coffee and a variety of scrumptious sweets. I dearly loved sitting quietly nearby so I could hear everyone talk and tell their stories.
To this day, I can’t see or smell cinnamon rolls without thinking of Mom and all her delicious baked goods. Grandma always kept a clear glass container like a huge brandy snifter in the center of her table, filled to the brim with several kinds of homemade cookies. Whenever she felt we didn’t eat the cookies quickly enough, she topped all of them with chocolate icing, one of my personal favorites.
Connected with those fabulous food memories are the memorable family stories that were told and retold. I never tired of hearing favorite stories from bygone days.
Food is one great way for YOU to open up a treasure chest of memories.
1. Get the stories behind the food
What do you think of when asked about your favorite food? Is it something that your grandmother made, like apple crisp? Or is it your Uncle Pete’s awesome barbecued ribs? Or how about your neighbor’s chocolate fudge? Or is it something you make yourself, like a peanut butter, jelly and banana sandwich? One of my own family favorites is fresh lemon meringue pie, which Mom made better than anyone else.
Whatever it is, everyone has favorite foods. Many of these foods make us think of when we were younger. But did you ever wonder about the stories behind the food? Who came up with the original recipe for apple crisp? And who on earth decided to add raisins or nuts to it? You can get some wonderful stories when you pose questions like these to cooks you know.
2. Use the power of food to recall memories
Food can be a powerful trigger to help you recall memories. If someone mentions pumpkin pie, do you think of Thanksgiving dinner? Do gingerbread cookies remind you of Christmas? Do hard-boiled eggs lead to thoughts of Easter? Whenever I see pecan pie, I always think about shelling pecans by the bushel (it sure seemed like a bushel, anyway) so we’d have pecans all winter.
You can use food to remind your family circle of stories you want to hear. One idea is to throw a cookie baking party. Everyone has fun, you get to make cookies (or pizza, or pretzels, or whatever you like best) and you dig up stories from the past. Best of all, you get to enjoy your favorite foods and favorite people at the same time.
Whenever people get together, they like to talk and tell stories. You can make up a list of questions to ask for more background about your own memories. Just remember to either write down what people say or use a recorder to capture it. That’s a whole lot easier than trying to remember all the details later.
3. Use family gatherings for more story-telling
Any gathering of your friends and family is a great chance to capture more stories. Many times, this is a fun opportunity for group discussions. Getting people to talk about their favorite foods will always lead to good memories. Ask about the first time Aunt Alice made a favorite recipe like macaroni and cheese and burned it. Where did she learn how to fix it? Some families may have their own idea of what a dish should be like. For example, one family may like macaroni and cheese from the blue box, but another family might be disappointed if they didn’t get it homemade from scratch with three kinds of cheese. They’re all keys to opening up those memories.
4. Combine family stories and recipes
One way to capture family stories and recipes is to make a little cookbook of your favorite foods. Then you can add stories to go along with the recipes. It’s even more fun to show the original recipe and who made it. Then show any changes that other people made to it.
To get stories from your family circle, you can ask each of them to write down their favorite recipe onto a card. Make sure they include the directions as well. On the other side of the recipe card, ask them to write a few notes about where the original recipe came from. They might also like to give you a photo of the food or the original cook.
Every year we lose someone special from our circle of friends and family. Please keep this in mind: Get started now to save their precious memories before they are lost forever.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Tales of Home and Family
As you know by now, I cherish family stories and the memories they preserve. Today I received great news. I will be one of the contributors on the Simple Marriage Team, covering topics related to Home and Family. How's that for a good fit? I am really excited and my first column will appear on Wednesday, January 13 at www.simplemarriage.net.
When I was a kid growing up in rural Illinois, I used to love to sit quietly and listen to the adults tell stories. There were no epic tales of heroism, but they taught me about my own family heritage. Those are the stories that I wish someone had recorded for our family.
Since that didn't happen, my goal is to help other people save some of their own precious family stories before they are lost forever. My book (Granny's Guide to Fun & Fabulous Family Stories) offers a whole series of writing exercises to help you get started. It is available for $18.95 plus shipping on my website, www.bethlamie.com.
In addition, I offer free teleclasses twice a month that show you how to capture your stories. To find out the details for the calls, please sign up for my newsletter on my website.
Start the New Year off right and plan to start on your own stories!
When I was a kid growing up in rural Illinois, I used to love to sit quietly and listen to the adults tell stories. There were no epic tales of heroism, but they taught me about my own family heritage. Those are the stories that I wish someone had recorded for our family.
Since that didn't happen, my goal is to help other people save some of their own precious family stories before they are lost forever. My book (Granny's Guide to Fun & Fabulous Family Stories) offers a whole series of writing exercises to help you get started. It is available for $18.95 plus shipping on my website, www.bethlamie.com.
In addition, I offer free teleclasses twice a month that show you how to capture your stories. To find out the details for the calls, please sign up for my newsletter on my website.
Start the New Year off right and plan to start on your own stories!
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