Find Peace – Leave a Piece of Your Mind in a Legacy Letter

Practical Ethical Wills

An Ethical Will, or a Legacy Letter, is a simple way to share what is important to you with your family and friends. It can also help you find peace of mind by leaving behind a piece of your mind. In fact, it can be a lovely spiritual gift for your loved ones to remember you now and years from now.

If you knew ahead of time when your life was going to end, what words of wisdom and comfort would you want to leave for your family? You may have a Last Will and Testament for the legal allocation of your possessions, as well as a Living Will with instructions for handling medical concerns, but an Ethical Will gives your family a better understanding of who you are, what is important to you, and what you hope to pass on to them.

Although your Ethical Will is non-legal and non-financial, its value is priceless!

Think about what you wish you knew about your parents, grandparents, and other ancestors. For example, why did your family uproot their lives to emigrate from one area of the country to another, like the pioneers who endured hardships to settle the West? You can share their experiences, and your own, with your descendants and friends.

Many people think about writing an Ethical Will when they are nearing the end of their life. In reality, such wills should ideally be an ongoing practice. If there are any unresolved issues in your life, or situations where you need to forgive or be forgiven, a legacy letter is the perfect opportunity to reach a resolution.

Consider starting an Ethical Will as soon as possible, regardless of your age. Update it regularly prior to or after major milestones, such as graduations, marriage and divorce, births and deaths, personal achievements, and world events. Reviewing each version can show how much you have changed and grown over the years.

Life is too short and too precious to miss the opportunity to leave a legacy letter to your family. Start now!

How to Become a Writer

From time to time, people ask how I got started writing, especially if they also want to write. Let me give you some background on myself. I got laid off from IBM several years ago and decided to take an early retirement rather than another job in Corporate America. I've always done a lot of writing, both for work (documentation, manuals, user guides) & personal (journals, letters, stories, family stories), so it seemed like a good time to see if I could actually BE a writer.

I took some classes at the University of Chicago in Creative Writing & Memoir Writing, then a Success Team from Barbara Sher. I also joined the Association of Personal Historians (APH), which I recommend highly. For the last four years, I’ve been writing life stories for clients, in addition to my own family stories and my book, and giving writing workshops at schools and organizations.

It took me over a year to write my book in conjunction with the year-long WriteSpeak program with Barbara Sher. I self-published my book, Granny’s Guide to Fun & Fabulous Family Stories, so I could use it for my workshops. With traditional publishers, it can take two years or more from the time you sign a contract until you have the book in your hands. I couldn’t wait that long for my purposes.

It may help to take some writing classes to get started, but it’s not absolutely necessary. The important thing is to start writing. Here are some suggestions:
• Get yourself a notebook to use as a writing journal and jot down ideas, like something vivid that you remember from your 14th birthday, for example. Don’t worry about grammar or spelling or anything, just write a little every day.

• Read writing magazines, such as Writer’s Digest, Poets & Writers or The Writer. HINT: When you subscribe to any of them, you’ll start to FEEL like a writer.

• Read all the books you can get your hands on, especially the ones related to your own field of interest. Pay attention to how the author develops the story, regardless of whether it is fiction or non-fiction. What do you like or not like about the writing?

• Read blogs (web logs) related to your interests and consider starting your own blog at a free site like www.blogspot.com, or on your website, such as mine at www.bethlamie.com/blog. Write about what you know and what you’d like to know.

• Write something every day. Get into the habit of making notes about topics that interest you and plan future articles, blogs, stories, etc.

Most of all, just write!

What do YOU want to write about? I’d love to hear about it.

What Is an Ethical Will?

Teleclass today at 2 PM ET.

Dial-In: 712-432-0900
Access: 197851#

Tuesday, June 21, 2 PM ET
TOPIC: What Is an Ethical Will?

An Ethical Will IS:
- A legacy of love and a spiritual gift
- A chance for your family (and YOU) to understand who you are
- A way to share what is important to you
- A means to pass on your hopes & dreams

An Ethical Will IS NOT:
- A legal document
- A financial document
- A binding document

Ready to start writing an Ethical Will?

What are your thoughts and concerns about them?

We love to get your input and feedback!

Comment here or contact Beth@bethlamie.com

Revised Teleclass Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Welcome! Join us for a teleclass on Ethical Wills
WHY? Two great reasons:
1) You can learn about FREE and easy ways to leave a legacy letter or Ethical Will for your loved ones.
2) Your input will help me fine-tune material for my new book, Ethical Wills the Easy Way.

Dial-In: 712-432-0900
Access: 197851#

Tuesday, June 21, 2 PM ET
TOPIC: What Is an Ethical Will?

Calls last 45 minutes, with time for questions at the end.
Your participation is welcome.

If you cannot attend the live call, a recording will be available later.

Teleclass Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Welcome! Join us for a teleclass on Ethical Wills

Dial-In: 712-432-0900
Access: 197851#

Tuesday, June 21, 2 PM ET
TOPIC: Ethical Will vs. Last Will vs. Living Will

Calls last 45 to 60 minutes & your participation is welcome.

If you cannot attend the live call, a recording will be available later.

Ethical Wills - Will It or Won’t It?

An Ethical Will is like a love letter to your family. You may already have a Last Will and a Living Will, so why on earth do you need an Ethical Will?

There are two excellent reasons for creating an Ethical Will: 1) it makes a priceless keepsake for your loved ones and 2) it is an excellent opportunity for you to consider the life you have led and have yet to lead.

A Last Will addresses your assets and how you want them to be distributed to your family, friends, or favorite charities. If you don’t happen to have a will at your death, the state where you reside will determine who inherits your worldly goods. I can’t speak for others, but I have no desire to let the government dole out my hard-earned money and property.

TIP: If you don’t have a Last Will, it’s not too late to create one. See an attorney at your earliest convenience.

A Living Will contains your health care directives. If you cannot make the decisions for your own care, such as after an accident, a heart attack, or a stroke, this document explains who can make those decisions for you. No one likes to think about becoming incapacitated, but worse yet would be for others to not know your wishes about using extraordinary measures to keep you alive.

TIP: If you don’t have a Living Will, it’s time to create one. See an attorney at your earliest convenience. An alternative: use the standard forms available at many hospitals and health care providers. In fact, it has become common practice for hospitals to encourage patients to create a Living Will before operations or certain procedures. Good advice!

An Ethical Will enables you to share personal information with your loved ones. It includes some of your history, such as where your ancestors came from, how they ended up in this city or even this country, what you remember best about them, and what you want future generations to understand about their heritage.

Your present-day history can also be an important part of your Ethical Will. Where did you come from, where have you been, and where do you intend to go from here? All these questions help you consider what has led to the development of you as a person. This is such a great opportunity to share that information with your loved ones.

Ethical Wills also contain information about the life lessons you have learned, your growth from any losses or failures, and your accomplishments. By describing your life in these terms, your heirs can benefit from the precious advice you can bequeath to them.

My favorite part of an Ethical Will happens to be the personal values and beliefs that we each have. Looking at them in depth allows you to figure out not only who you are, but who you want to become. That discovery is significant for both you and your loved ones.

The last portion of an Ethical Will contains your hopes and dreams for yourself, your family and friends, and even for the world at large. When you examine those hopes, you can extend your universe beyond yourself to benefit others. For example, you may rediscover an early ambition as a young adult to save the world; now is the time to examine ways to continue that dream, perhaps by charitable works or contributions to worthwhile causes.

However you create your own Ethical Will, be assured that your family, friends, and other loved ones will appreciate your sharing your life with them. Having such a personal keepsake from you is a priceless gift.

When are you going to start your own Ethical Will? It’s never too late, you know!

Values Over Valuables - What Is Your Legacy?

This is my guest post today from www.simplemarriage.net.

Which do you think people value more: a financial or non-financial inheritance? Or, to put it another way, if you lost a loved one, what legacy would you want to have from them?

The statistics may surprise you. A few years ago, Allianz Life Insurance Company of North America conducted a survey of over 2600 baby boomers and elders.

According to the survey, participants felt a non-financial legacy was 10 times more important than money and other assets. Think about that; the response overwhelmingly favored a personal heritage over worldly goods, values over valuables.

77% of boomers and elders personally felt values and life experiences were very important parts of an inheritance. How exciting to realize that virtually every single person has the ability to leave a meaningful heritage for their loved ones!

Which types of values are the most important to leave as your legacy? They include your personal values, ethics, religion, memories, heritage, and family stories. Not coincidentally, these values are all elements of an Ethical Will.

While an Ethical Will is non-legal and non-financial, to your family it is priceless.

Leaving a legacy your family will treasure can be as simple as writing them a love letter or capturing your words in an audio or video recording. Whatever you decide to do, here are some of the topics you can include:

• Your History – Past and Present
Remember all the great stories you used to hear when you were a kid? Some of them might have been fantasies, like bedtime stories, but many of them were probably true. For me, the best stories came from favorite family members and friends. I recall everyone sitting around the kitchen table while Grandpa talked about farming, or Uncle Morris told a tall tale about raising pigs. I was fascinated, hanging on their every word. Those are among the stories I want to pass down to my young grandchildren and even to future generations.

Have you started a genealogy or family tree? I love to visualize a bare oak tree with the roots exposed as in this diagram. That forms the heritage and structure of a family, which includes all the dates, places, and names. Now consider all your family stories – those are what flesh out the tree, including the leaves and blossoms that make it interesting. If your family is like mine, those stories flesh out all the fruits and nuts of a family, too. They are the quirky, personal stories that everyone loves to hear.

• Life Lessons and Achievements
Think about your own life. Everyone experiences and responds differently to life lessons. That is why they are such an important element of your Ethical Will. What have you learned during your life, when, and from whom? Your life lessons often shape who you are and who you become.

What have been your proudest accomplishments and why? What can your descendants learn from your successes and missteps? Which achievements by your family have made you proud? How does having confidence in yourself lead you to more successes?

Think about the wisdom you can bequeath to your family. Flesh out your advice with stories and examples. What advice do you want your friends and family to remember? How can you help them in some way?

• Personal Values and Beliefs
Your personal values are unique to you, and they may vary from time to time. Every person responds differently to the influences in their lives and what life dishes out to them. Examining your own personal values allows you to figure out not only who you are, but who you want to become.

Your values are determined by your heart, your family, your friends, your religion, and your community. They may be as ingrained in you as DNA. Consider which personal values and beliefs you want to include in your Ethical Will.

• Hopes for the Future
Voice your hopes for the future, for you, your family, your community, and your world. Which hopes and dreams are most important to you for your vision of the future? What do you look forward to sharing with those you love?

As you start working on your Legacy of Love, relish the thought that your values are more important than any valuables you may leave behind.

To whom do you plan to write your first Ethical Will?

Alice Pyne's Bucket List, ver. 2

My apologies for the problems I seem to be having with blogger.com today. We'll see if this attempt allows you to see the links I wanted to use.

 

People tend to think they'll live forever, even though logically they know it's not true. But what if you knew your time on earth was coming to an end? Would you attack your Bucket List (http://onestoryatatime.blogspot.com/2011/04/bucket-list-for-your-family.html) with a vengeance, just cry and feel sorry for yourself, or make the most of your last days?

 

One young 15-year-old girl in the UK named Alice finds herself in exactly that position. She has terminal cancer, but she started a blog to share news with her friends, family, and total strangers like me. Her blog, http://alicepyne.blogspot.com/2011/06/oh-dear.html , includes her Bucket List.

 

Being the skeptic I am, I wanted to check the validity of her story before sharing it with others. Here is a link to her story from the British Prime Minister: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cumbria-13702876 .

 

The remarkable thing about her blog is that she is not asking for donations or money; she wants ALL people to register to become bone marrow donors. What an amazing goal for a young girl, and one the Prime Minister endorses.

 

We can't control what happens to us, but we can control how we react to challenges. Our responses to those obstacles are an important part of who we are. We have an ideal opportunity to share our experiences through an Ethical Will, or love letter to our families, http://onestoryatatime.blogspot.com/2011/02/ethical-wills-love-letters-to-your.html . One of my goals is to encourage everyone to write a simple Ethical Will at whatever stage of life they are in.

 

Working with high school groups, I showed them how easy the process is to create an Ethical Will. Ideally, it can be updated every five years or so, or before or after milestone events. The great thing about starting an Ethical Will at an early age is being able to look back on how someone's personal values have changed over the years.

 

The other benefit at any age is having a heartfelt message to share with family and friends. In addition, it is a wonderful way to open the door to communication, preferably while the author is still alive. If we let others know just how much they mean to us now, consider how much closer we can become. That's what life is all about.

 

Have you created a Bucket List or started your own Ethical Will? I'd love to hear about your experiences.

Alice Pyne's Bucket List

People tend to think they'll live forever, even though logically they know it's not true. But what if you knew your time on earth was coming to an end? Would you attack your Bucket List with a vengeance, just cry and feel sorry for yourself, or make the most of your last days?

 

One young 15-year-old girl in the UK named Alice finds herself in exactly that position. She has terminal cancer, but she started a blog to share news with her friends, family, and total strangers like me. Her blog includes her Bucket List.

 

Being the skeptic I am, I wanted to check the validity of her story before sharing it with others. Here is a link to her story from the British Prime Minister.

 

The remarkable thing about her blog is that she is not asking for donations or money; she wants ALL people to register to become bone marrow donors. What an amazing goal for a young girl, and one the Prime Minister endorses.

 

We can't control what happens to us, but we can control how we react to challenges. Our responses to those obstacles are an important part of who we are. We have an ideal opportunity to share our experiences through an Ethical Will, or love letter to our families. One of my goals is to encourage everyone to write a simple Ethical Will at whatever stage of life they are in.

 

Working with high school groups, I showed them how easy the process is to create an Ethical Will. Ideally, it can be updated every five years or so, or before or after milestone events. The great thing about starting an Ethical Will at an early age is being able to look back on how someone's personal values have changed over the years.

 

The other benefit at any age is having a heartfelt message to share with family and friends. In addition, it is a wonderful way to open the door to communication, preferably while the author is still alive. If we let others know just how much they mean to us now, consider how much closer we can become. That's what life is all about.

 

Have you created a Bucket List or started your own Ethical Will? I'd love to hear about your experiences.